Motherfucking pioneer of beards and photography, Muybridge was quite the badass.
Fucking Gandalf!
This guy could kill you and get away with murder! And take nudie pics and call it art. Sweet!
Size: 8
Manliness: a lot.
Wizardry: 1000
Aggression: enough to shoot a guy point blank for fucking his wife and get away with it in court.
Notable features: a stabby point at the bottom.
Stay gold, Ponyboy.
Obviously this guy isn’t drinking Hopslam from a party keg or it would be running down his face. Or maybe his beard is soaking it all up.
BULLSHIT! No way a close-cropped beard like that could hold more than 12 milliliters of beer at any one time. And I would fucking know.
Style: marriage-cropped-beard.
Size: 0.5
Manliness: 2
Aggression: 1
Notable features: Might be fake.
Other: At least he knows his fucking beer.
You walk upon a kindly stranger with a beard. What do you do?
>make fun of his beard
Fuck yes!
This here’s a respectable beard. He probably works at a fucking bank or something. At least he could and people would not feel the need to microwave their cash after he hands it to them. Notice how the glasses and beard really tie the face together. Yet the whisker length lends itself to sipping leftover whiskey.
Style: Neat
Size: 2
Manliness:3
Aggression: 1
Notable features: whiskey-whiskers.
Other: Probably has a resumé that doesn’t include foodservice.
Holy shit, look at this beard! Homeless guys give him their change and offer to let him bum cigarettes. Needs a little length, though. This hair farmer probably uses beer to make it grow faster.
Style: Phantom Goatee
Size: 5
Aggression: 12
Sex Appeal: 1000
